Cold Approach Meaning

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Iain demonstrates what cold approach looks like.

What is Cold Approach?

Cold approach is when someone strikes-up a conversation with a person they’ve never met before, typically for a romantic purpose.

In most cases, it refers to a guy walking up to a girl he finds attractive and initiating a friendly chat.

However, it can just as easily be reversed, with a girl taking the first step towards a guy she’s interested in.

Usage of ‘Cold Approach’ as a Noun

It’s important to note that ‘cold approach’ is commonly used as a noun rather than a verb.

You don’t typically include the article ‘a’ before cold approach when referring to the concept.

For example, you would say "cold approach is an effective way to meet new people" instead of "a cold approach is an effective way to meet new people."

This usage emphasises that cold approach refers to the general method or strategy of initiating contact with someone unfamiliar.

The Difference Between ‘Cold’ and ‘Warm’

The word ‘cold’ in cold approach has nothing to do with acting distant or unfriendly.

It’s simply describing the lack of any prior connection—no shared social circles, no online chats, no introductions.

Think of it using the analogy of cold vs. warm approach, where a warm approach involves some form of contact beforehand—maybe a brief chat in a queue or a mutual friend linking you up.

Misconceptions About the Word ‘Cold’

Some might misunderstand the term ‘cold’, assuming it implies a rude or inhospitable manner.

That’s really not the case here.

At its core, a cold approach is meant to be good-natured, positive and genuine.

There’s no hidden meaning behind the word ‘cold’—it’s just highlighting that the person you’re talking to is a complete stranger.

The Intention Behind Cold Approach

The intention behind a cold approach is to start a relationship in a natural setting.

Whether you bump into someone in a busy coffee shop, on a late-night train home or at your local park, saying hello can lead to a friendly chat and possibly the start of something more.

As long as it’s calibrated and you’re mindful of proxemics, cold approach is nothing more than a straightforward way of meeting new people.

Cold Approach Conversion Rates

Cold approach conversion rates can vary widely based on factors like personal skill, context and even the mood on the day.

Some guys “claim” they get positive responses from one out of every five approaches, whilst others say it’s more like one in twenty—or even one in a hundred.

It’s important to remember that ‘conversion’ can mean different things: getting a phone number, setting up a date, or simply having a decent interaction. So it’s crucial to set a relevant benchmark.

A higher rate generally comes down to how much effort you’re willing to put in.

Remember that, focusing on the quality of the interaction is far more beneficial than just chasing flaky numbers.

A Mainstream Spin on a Decades-Old Practice

You could say the phrase ‘cold approach’ is simply a more mainstream, PR-friendly way of describing what pick-up artists have been doing for decades, which is approaching women they’re attracted to.

There’s nothing wrong with that at all—it’s just a newer way to express a concept that’s been around for ages.

Iain Myles

Iain is an International Dating Coach for Men who’s coached 5,000+ guys and has over 360,000 followers worldwide. As the author of bestselling books at Kamalifestyles, he offers bespoke 1-on-1 coaching. His expertise has earned him appearances on BBC Radio, features in the Irish Examiner and over 100 million views on KamaTV.

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